The “beneath” provides us with the whole picture
‘The “beneath” provides us with the whole picture’ blog article was written by Pat Jewell, Program Manager, Parenting and Early Years Program at Australian Childhood Foundation.
There is a lovely picture book called ‘Beneath’ by Cori Doerrfeld. It tells the story of a young child who is having a bad day and hides from the world under his blanket.
His grandfather suggested they take a walk. The child wanted to stay under his blanket on the walk. The grandfather agreed, saying, “I will remember to think about what’s beneath.” So the grandfather and the child, hidden under his blanket, took a walk.
The grandfather points to the tall trees that he can see and explains how the most important part of the tree is actually what you cannot see, such as the roots.
He then points to a boat sitting still on the water as if it is all there is to see, but beneath the water, there is another world full of colour and sea life.
As the walk continues, the grandfather mentions that sometimes it is easy to guess what is beneath, such as the bird in a nest sitting on the eggs that the bird is keeping warm.
Other times, it is not so easy to see what is beneath, as they watch a fox digging and wonder why he is digging and what he can or wants to see.
As the story goes on, we are able to see more and more of the child as he first peeks out from under his blanket, then wraps his blanket around himself and finally gives his blanket to his grandfather to hold revealing the whole child.
The walk ends as the grandfather explains that “everyone is more than you can see, beneath appearances are experiences and beneath actions are explanations.”
In the Bringing Up Great Kids parenting program we encourage parents and carers to look beneath.
First, we ask parents and carers to look beneath the child’s behaviour to see how it is affecting them and to be aware of how the behaviour influences how they, the parents, feel.
We also encourage parents and carers to identify what they might need to keep calm when the child’s behaviour is occurring.
We have designed a set of cards that can support parent and carer exploration of children’s behaviour. Firstly, how the behaviour affects their feelings towards the child and then supports parents and carers to see the whole child including what may lie beneath.
Bringing Up Great Kids (BUGK) Behaviour Buster cards
The BUGK Behaviour Buster Cards are designed for professionals to use in their work with parents and carers. They help parents and carers to explore the feelings and needs that drive a child’s behaviour. Each card supports a greater understanding of how parents and carers can adapt their responses to meet the needs of their children at the moment.