Parenting after family violence

In the aftermath of family violence, women can have a range of experiences that affect their parenting. They can engage with the parts of themselves that survived and supported their efforts to offer protection to their children. They have a sense of themselves as resourced by friends and family.

They feel empowered by the decisions they have made for themselves and their children. On the other hand, they can engage with the parts of themselves that were frightened, or felt hopeless, or were anxious about their children. They can lose confidence in their parenting, not knowing how to adopt roles that better meet the needs of their children as a result of the way the violence affected them.

They can experience a gulf between themselves and their children, feeling the absence of connection and trust.

Women sometimes take with them the messages that the violence has reinforced for them. It was your fault. What kind of mother are you? Your children do not appreciate you. They don’t trust you. You are not able to look after them properly. Give up and leave them alone. They will do better without you.

In the aftermath of family violence, there are many challenges facing women. They often need a place to live. They need to take court action to keep themselves and their children safe. They need to establish themselves in a new community. They need to find a job. They need to open a new bank account.

If they have children, one of these challenges is to be a parent in a way that makes sense of their past but is not defined by it.

Our Bringing Up Great Kids Parenting Program presents parents with access to knowledge about development, connection with others and an opportunity to reflect on their communication with children. This workshop will provide you with specific skills and knowledge to support survivors of family violence in relation to enhancing their relationships with their children.