Rethinking using the word resilient for children who have experienced trauma

‘Rethinking using the word resilient for children who have experienced trauma’ blog article was written by Sue Buratti, General Manager, Therapeutic Services at Australian Childhood Foundation. 

In a ‘trauma-informed’ world where we are more advanced than ever in understanding the best approaches to supporting trauma healing, it is alarming that we continue to characterise children as resilient without fully understanding the implications. 

Children who have experienced abuse and neglect often won’t show outward signs of trauma and can be mislabelled as resilient. However, this mischaracterisation overlooks the profound impact on their bodies and brains, which may not be immediately visible through their internalised behaviour. Children who have experienced abuse and neglect might internalise their distress.

This doesn’t mean they are resilient in the true sense; instead, they are suffering in ways that aren’t immediately visible. The quiet child who seems to “cope well” may, in fact, be struggling deeply with feelings of fear, anxiety, and confusion. 

We must stop ignoring these children and inadvertently praising their ability to internalise their distress rather than exhibit behaviours some might assess as antisocial.  

The impacts of this oversight are devastating, leading to these children often being unseen and not considered in therapeutic approaches, unlike others with similar lived experiences who might exhibit externalised signs of distress.  

Children, especially those who have experienced trauma, require the presence of safe, reliable, and nurturing relationships.

These relationships are crucial for rebuilding trust and creating relational safety. Children who have experienced relational betrayal need consistent and predictable interactions with caring adults to rebuild their internal sense of safety and connection. 

Interventions must be attuned to the child’s specific needs and experiences, recognising that outward behaviour doesn’t always indicate internal struggles.

Trauma-sensitive care approaches are essential in identifying and addressing the underlying impacts of trauma. 

Assessments of children who have experienced trauma should be holistic, considering both visible behaviours and internalised experiences. This approach ensures that all children receive the support they need, regardless of how they are outwardly expressing their trauma.  

We need to change the narrative around resilience in children who have experienced trauma.

Instead of praising their ability to “withstand” difficulties, we should focus on providing the relational and emotional support they need to truly heal and thrive. This involves training caregivers, educators, and professionals to recognise and respond to the less visible signs of trauma, empowering them with the knowledge to provide appropriate support. 

By shifting our language and approach, we can ensure that all children, regardless of how they manifest their trauma, receive the care and support they deserve.  

This is a collective responsibility that we all share, and by working together, we can make a significant difference in every child’s life. 

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