The art of presence: the moment-by-moment journey into mindfulness

‘The art of presence: the moment-by-moment journey into mindfulness’ blog article was written by Jo Newbold, Senior Consultant, Parenting and Early Years Program at Australian Childhood Foundation.

With the ever-increasing demands of life, we are constantly being pushed and pulled in many directions.

A full life, enriched with multiple experiences, can be a blessing. In contrast, being in a state of mindlessness and distraction all day long means we miss the moment-to-moment opportunities to notice what is happening in our minds, bodies and hearts.  

I hesitate to admit I am all too familiar with the mindfulness overwhelm.

I have even been known to arrive at the vets for our dog’s annual check up to realise as I opened the car boot, that during my round trip with school drop off I missed collecting said dog! As I sat in my car outside the vet’s clinic, scrambling to come up with any plausible excuse for why I was dogless, my pooch was likely snoozing smugly at home on the couch, blissfully dreaming he’d dodged the dreaded injections.  

As the new year begins, we all find ourselves at a crossroads – leaving behind the whirlwind of the festive season and stepping into a space ripe with possibility.

The holidays, while joyful, can leave us feeling scattered and overwhelmed, but now, with the calendar reset, we are offered an invitation to pause, to breathe and to re-centre ourselves. This is the perfect time to cultivate an increased attitude to mindfulness.  

Mindfulness as an attitude towards moment-to-moment experience 

Mindful practice grew out of Buddhist psychology. 

For decades, the developer and founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), Jon Kabat-Zinn, has been developing the ancient Buddhist practice of mindfulness as a way of being for individual practice and as an effective path for healing and transformation.

Kabat-Zinn has become a recognised expert in mindfulness, and his definition has become widely accepted: “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.”  

According to mindfulness expert and psychotherapist Ronald D. Siegel, “Mindfulness is an attitude toward experience—approaching any moment of our lives with both awareness and acceptance.”  

Ronald Siegel highlights that mindfulness is sometimes confused with mindful meditation. He deems mindfulness as an attitude towards moment-to-moment experience, whereas mindful meditation is a form of attention control training that cultivates mindfulness. 

Mindful meditation practices, including walking meditation, listening to the sounds of nature or focused breathing, can ground us in the safe moment-to-moment experience as they bring our awareness away from our tangled minds and back to our bodily sensations or a safer outer environment.  

When we enter the therapeutic space fully present, our ability to hold space for and navigate difficult emotions expands 

In our work as therapists, the more we practice an attitude of mindfulness, the more we’re able to be present with the children and families we work with. We become the tool or instrument of treatment as we support the healing journey.

When we enter the therapeutic space fully present, our ability to hold space for and navigate difficult emotions expands. A mindful attitude helps us to remain open to the shared painful stories in a fresh way as we help children to move toward rather than away from the painful feelings as they make sense of their life experience.

As Ronald Seigel notes, “To be more present, rather than lost in the thought stream involving narratives about the past and the future. That is mindfulness-informed psychotherapy.”

As a cautionary note, Seigel states that mindfulness is not a one-size-fits-all approach to supporting safety and healing. With unresolved trauma, the pain of past traumatic events may be held out of awareness as a defensive measure. In this scenario, mindful practice may be contraindicated, meaning we want to understand at which stages in treatment mindfulness might be best placed to avoid potential adverse effects.

To be still brings peace – and it brings understanding

Mindfulness means a variety of things to a variety of people, often based on race, culture, religion or belief system.

In the ancient Aboriginal tradition of mindfulness and deep listening, the word, concept, and spiritual practice of Dadirri are qualities of inner, deep, quiet listening and awareness.

Dadirri is a word that belongs to the Ngan’gikurunggurr and Ngen’giwumirri languages of Daly River in the Northern Territory, which was gifted to us by Dr Miriam Rose Ungunmerr Baumann.

Dr Miriam Rose is an artist and Elder who was appointed to the Order of Australia for her services to Aboriginal education and art. She has an honorary doctorate from the Northern Territory University, and in 2021, she was awarded Senior Australian of the Year.

Dr Miriam Rose shares this practice of Dadirri as a special contemplative quality, an important and unique gift to help us recognise the deep spring that is inside us.

To be still brings peace – and it brings understanding. When we are really still in the bush, we concentrate. We are aware of the anthills and the turtles and the water lilies… I believe that the spirit of Dadirri that we have to offer will blossom and grow, not just within ourselves, but in our whole nation.”  

The way parents were raised has a strong influence on the way they parent their own children.

In his book titled Parenting from the Inside Out, Dan Siegel, a well-known child psychiatrist and Founder of both the Mindsight Institute and Mindful Awareness Research Centre at UCLA, encourages parents to anchor reflection and mindfulness into their parenting approach.

Drawing on evidence from research, Dan Siegel indicates the process of reflection and the practice of mindfulness directly shapes the secure foundation of the parent-child relationship by deepening parents’ capacity for self-understanding and making meaning from the events in their own early lives.  

The way parents were raised has a strong influence on the way they parent their own children. Values, attitudes, and beliefs get passed down through the generations without consideration for whether they meet the current needs of children just because it has always been done that way. Mindful and reflective parenting helps to bring awareness to these influences.

It generates a deeper understanding of the impacts of messages from the past and offers space for parents to actively decide which messages are helpful and which ones are best left in the past.  

In the Parenting and Early Years program, we support parents/caregivers in bringing a reflective and mindful attitude towards their interactions with children. Mindful parenting takes practice.

Busy lifestyles, along with unrealistic parental expectations, can result in parents feeling a range of emotions that get in the way of responding to children mindfully.

Mindful parenting is like a pause to take a small breath, to make space for parents to do things with their child without having their attention drawn away from what is happening right then and there. This allows parents to know more deeply what they are feeling, recognise what their child is feeling and understand what their child might need from them at that very moment.  

As a reflective, respectful, and nurturing program, our Bringing Up Great Kids (BUGK) program provides parents/carers with information about the neuroscience underpinning mindfulness.

Mindful practice reduces stress, increases focus and emotional regulation and promotes positive interactions and communication within parent-child relationships.  

Through repeated opportunities to practice a range of mindful meditations and focused breathing exercises parents begin developing their mindful practice, identifying a range of mindful techniques that are attainable and appealing to their personal preferences.  

Parents and caregivers frequently report that using the Stop-Pause-Play mindfulness technique introduced in the BUGK program enhances their confidence in parenting.

In practicing this technique, they notice increased flexibility with a shift from reactive emotional responses to more thoughtful and intentional interactions, prioritising their child’s emotional wellbeing.

This approach not only enables both parents and children to fully sense themselves in the moment but also fosters a calmer and more nurturing environment in which the intimate parent-child relationship continues to deepen. In general, parents who practice mindfulness say it increases their satisfaction in being a parent and encourages more fun and positive experiences with their child.  

Practicing mindfulness has powerful therapeutic benefits.

It has been shown to reduce stress, improve focus, boost emotional resilience, and even help you sleep better. It’s the ultimate life hack for staying calm in traffic, responding intentionally to your loved ones and remembering to take your dog with you to their veterinary appointment.

Plus, as we kick off a new calendar year, what better way to reduce the chaos and bring more inner peace as you pause, breathe, and move into 2025?

References

• Kabat-Zinn J., & Kabat-Zinn, M. (2008). Everyday Blessings – the inner work of Mindful parenting. Hyperion.  
• Siegel, D., & Hartzell, M. (2004). Parenting from the inside out: how deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive. Penguin Random House. 
• Siegel, R. & Kory, D. (n.d.). “Ronald Siegel on Integrating Mindfulness into Psychotherapy””: Mindfulness expert and psychotherapist, Ronald D. Siegel, shares his insights about how—and when—to integrate mindfulness practices into psychotherapy. https://www.psychotherapy.net/interview/siegel-mindfulness-psychotherapy 
• Source: Adapted from: DADIRRI By Miriam Rose Ungunmerr

Learn more about the Bringing Up Great Kids (BUGK) Program

Bringing Up Great Kids (BUGK) is an integrated suite of activities and tools that are unique and offer all parents and carers a fresh way to understand and enact relationships with their children. It focuses on building positive and nurturing relationships between parents and their children, while also aiming to support parents to review and enhance their patterns of communication with their children to promote more respectful interactions and encourage the development of children’s positive self-identity.